Situational Confidence or Imposter Syndrome?

David Nikolich

Situational Confidence or Imposter Syndrome?

Imagine a child being born and the midwife saying, “it’s a healthy boy or girl but unfortunately, this one is not confident”. Whichever side of the Nature/Nurture debate you find yourself, we must accept that we are neither ‘confident nor not confident’ all the time in every given situation. Therefore, confidence is situational!

When I joined RBS some years ago as Head of Resource and Values, I very quickly became a professional meeting goer. I found myself joining one meeting for an hour, moving a few rooms up the corridor, losing a few colleagues, gaining a few other people and then another meeting happened all over again. I noticed that while the premise of each meeting was reasonably similar, my confidence varied considerably depending upon several factors. These factors included familiarity or complexity of the subject matter, the project progress/success levels, the sponsorship and perceived importance of the meeting, the people in attendance, the cultural environment set by the chair and the mood I happened to be in at that particular time as I checked my emails between meetings.

I consciously took some time to reflect on the biggest or most obvious swings in my confidence levels. After half an hour and a scruffy page of scribbled notes, I realised that my highest points were attributed to strong personal engagement with a subject matter of keen interest to me and which I had the evident capability for. In essence, it was where I was playing to my more natural strengths.

I also realised, though more reluctantly, that my lowest points were attributed to having a high ranking, senior or executive figure present. It took me hours and hours of regular soul searching and many years to figure this out. As is often the case, I had to go back to my childhood for the answer. Having come from a very poor social background with an uneducated immigrant Father, I had fought my own way into further education and out of the confines of an unwanted and disassociated environment. Unbeknown to me until this point, I had harboured a kind of imposter syndrome for most of my life. Whenever someone from what I perceived as a highly privileged background was present, I would lose all ability to communicate effectively due to the fear of being found out about where I came from. In essence, I had to nurture my ability better in this space.

It is scientifically proven that the more we are aware of ourselves, the more we can control. I have never considered myself as superhuman, but the day I found my kryptonite equivalent, I was able to make conscious choices about managing my confidence in certain situations and ultimately become much more comfortable in my own skin. This significant awakening changed my life and it is one of the reasons why I am compelled to help others change theirs. Although I don’t wear my underpants on the outside, I do wear my cape of discovery with pride.

If you are interested in gaining further insights into imposter syndrome, join our webinar on March 2nd 2022.

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